What Twilight has done to all of us
by tennislover26
Summary: A random list about all us crazy twilight fans and the funny things some of us crazier ones do. Am I a crazy one? you ask... Why yes... Yes I am.
1. Chapter 1

**Just some random\hopefully funny stuff about what us, Twilight crazed fans, do.**

**Disclaimer:**

**Hmm... Maybe _this _mask will work...**

**Random Kid: Hey, you look familar... Huh.**

**Me: Yes, I'm Stephenie Meyer.**

**Random Kid: No... Your not... ****No, I can see the blond hair seeping through the wig... Your Hannah Montanah!**

**Me: What the crap?!? No I'm not!**

**Lots of random kids: 'Oh my God!' 'R u really pragnet?' 'Stephenie Meyer is better.' 'Get her!'**

**Me: Ahhhhhh!**

**Okay, so I'm NOT Stephenie Meyer and I DON'T own the Twilight chapters. But I wish I did. And some day... Edward will come for me... and well, Then I just might!**

What Twilight has done to all of us...

1. You scream when you see a silver volvo and spend the next day telling everyone about it.

2. Try to be friends with the new kid Edward even if his last name isn't Cullen. He can always change it.

3. Also, you asked that same kid to bite you. He walked slowly away and you chased him saying, "No really!"

4. Looked in the phone book under Cullen and found an Edward Cullen. After much screaming you called him so many times he changed his number.

5. Asked your mom if you could change your name to Bella Swan. Or at least Bella Cullen.

6. When you found out your mom wanted to name you Isabella but your dad didn't you revused to talk to him for the rest of the day.

7. Your going to move to Forks when you turn 17.

8. You get mad when people ask why your reading Twilight again.

9. You almost stopped reading New Moon when Edward left. But then you figured he had to come back cause there were two more books.

10. You started crying infront of your friend when you finished Breaking Dawn, even though you LOVED the ending, you just realized that the twilight series was... over.

11. When you were crying about Breaking Dawn, your friends who was reading Eclispe got worried and read faster. Then later she asked, "Why were you crying? The ending was great." You explain that the series is over. She didn't realized this before and starts crying to.

12. You start wondering if your boy friend is a vampire when you see him walking in the bitter cold with a short sleve shirt on and no coat.

13. When you ask him about this he laughs so hard he can barely breath. He says he just forgot his coat.

14. You think he's lying and start trying to convince your friends that he could be a vampire.

15. The Twilight loving friends believe you and are very jelous that you are dating a vampire.

16. When you hold his hand and it's warm, you almost cry.

17. Your Team Jacob friend says, "Maybe he's a warewolf! Hm, Can I have him?" You yell "No!" and stuff her in a trash can.

18. You look in the mirror at the dark circles under your eyes from staying awake to read, your pale skin, and the golden flecks in your eyes and start hoping your turning into and vampire.

19. When you flinch from something hurting the tip of your fingers you wonder, is the transformation starting?

20. When you get a paper cut you say, "Ow!" and suck the blood away from your finger. Then you think, Man that tasted good.

21. You think Bella was stupid for ever thinking rainy days sucked because thosed are the best days EVER. Vampire days.

22. You think your name is to current and you want an older name like other famous vampires.

23. You told the kid in your english class named Emmett that he had Grizzly in his teeth.

24. You got mad at your boyfriend. When he asked, "Why the heck are you mad?" You whined, "Because... You don't sparkle!"

25. The only way you will forgive him is if he dumps glitter on his self.

26. He calls you nuts and you get dumped.

**Okay I will probably have another 'chapter' out with more on it so if you have any ideas tell me, please.... Oh, and reveiw!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ahhhhhhh! Got got 10 reveiws. Srry I was having a horible day and this was sooo awesome... Thanks 4 all the great coments, I had no idea I was tht funny. Cool I'm funny... Anyway, please reveiw and tell me wat u think. And btw, most of those things DID happen 2 me. Expect 4 the boyfriend. Yea, so I did tell my friends he could be a vampire but I didnt tell him tht. And I havnt got dumped get but he will once he realizes how crazy i am... Hahahaha.**

**Disclaimer: **

**Friend: Hey, wats up Madeline?**

**Me: Nutin, I'm just getting married 2 Edward Cullen, Jacob wants me, and I'm rich from selling MY Twilight books.**

**Friends: Hahaha. You get crazier every day... Can I be bridesmaid?**

**Me: Nope. Angela is, sorry.**

**Okay so I'm not Stephenie Meyer and I don't own the twilight books, obviously or you would be going to my wedding. Wanna b Bridesmaid? Do ya? Huh, huh? Haha.**

27. You dream about getting married to Edward Cullen and Jocab wants you.

28. You walk up to the prettiest girl that looks like Rosalie and say, "I have a better chance of Edward loving me. Plus I'm human... for now!"

29. Mark out Bella in all your books and change it to your name.

30. The boy friend who dumped you, yeah he'll be back. Just like Edward came back. Now, to find a Jacob Black person until he does.

31. Decide to paper cut yourself around the cute pale boys and see what happens. Oh! Did that one flinch!?!

32. Fake pass out after you see your own blood. Then, wait for a guy to carry you of to the nurses office. He is obvisouly a vampire who is in love with you. Now, were are those syblings.

33. You think, maybe moving to a new town isn't so bad. It worked for Bella.

34. You passed out after you heard Twilight was becoming a movie. After you got tickets of course.

35. Video taped the trailer and have all of them on your computer.

36. When you couldn't go to the midnight showing you got jelous and put food and paperclips on those people sleeping in class the next day. They obviously got to see it.

37. Made your friends read the book in three days so they could go to the movie. Then got pissed of when they only got halfway through.

38. Killed your friend who has seen the movie 4 times in the theater. She deserved it for not taking you.

39. Buried her in the back yard. Now Edward will never know. Unless he can read your mind...

40. You have four walls in your room with posters on them. There is a theme on each one. Wall one: Edward. Wall two: Jacob. Wall three: Edward and Bella. Wall four: family and bad guys.

41. Your going to burn down the house of the guy who leaked Midnight Sun.

42. You now say 'Holy Crow' like Bella does even though you think it's totally dorky.

43. You think of this list or something like it.

**Ugh, it was sooo much harded this time. Ugh, being funny is not easy you know. -sigh- I will try to make another chapter wen I'm having a funnier day. Reveiw plz!!! I had a talk with my fans reading Falling for a spy and they know about how u hav 2 reveiw. Plus if you don't reveiw I'll have to give u guys the 'reveiw talk' its really long sooo just reveiw okay. -Byes!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, I've gotten 14 reveiws & there all from different plp! Yay! Anyway happy birthday, here's some funny.... Oh, it's not your birthday? sorry NO REFUNDS! You got to read the fine print on these things people!**

**Disclaimer:**

**Oh forget it! I know I'm not Stephenie Meyer and I don't own her incredibly hot characters. I'm so past pretending to be Stephenie Meyer. Now I'm Bella Swan and I have Edward.... Edward... -sigh-**

44. You saw someone pale and bronze hair guy from a distance and were so shocked you ran into a poll after you shouted "Edward!" When the guy turn he had a nose ring and did not look anything like Edward.

45. You talk more about Jacob Black then the Jacobs at your school.

46. Heck, you talk more about the fictional characters in Twilight than anyone else.

47. You think about then more to.

48. You yelled across the caffateria "I love that shirt so much I want to marry it!" at someone who was wearing a twilight shirt. All the guys looked at you strangly and the girl whooped in agreement.

49. You did marry the shirt and the girl who was wearing it is the bridemaid.

50. Your boyfriend got mad about you cheating on him with a fictional character.

51. Your try to be lat for biology so you will yet stuck with the outcast vampire.

**Since I didn't give your very much of the list I'm going to put this short story about the girl who got dumped. The glitter lover. Anyway here you go. Yes, your welcome.**

I watched in disgust as he walked up to me.

"How dare you!" I storm off to my car.

"What?" He started running after me. Slowly I might add. Edward wouldn't even have to try to keep up. He grabbed my arm. "What did I do?"

"You know what you did!" I screamed at him.

"What did I do?" He tilted my head up and looked into my eyes. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "Please tell me." He said sweetly.

"You..." I stopped as he wipped the tear from my cheek. "You don't..." I bit my lip.

"I didn't what? I didn't open that door for you back there, cause I meant to." He brushed my cheek.

"No, it's not that. You just..." I stopped again. I couldn't get it out slowly. I had to say it fast. "You don't sprakle! Not even in the _sunlight_!" I felt another tear roll down but he didn't get it this time.

No this time he was to busy laughing. Of course he knew about how I felt about Edward. I had the feeling that he thought I had been joking all this time.

"Oh. I'm so sorry." He started to laugh again. "That was a good one."

I raised a brow. "I mean," He corrected, "How could I ever make it up to you?" He asked through his laughing.

"Well, you could dump glitter on yourself."

"Um..." Then he started to laugh again. "Man, I had no idea idea you were this funny."

"No I'm serious." I took some glittler out of my bag and handed it to him. "Here."

He kept laughing until he realized I was serious. "Um..." He started to back away slowly. "I think that I wouldn't look good in sparkles. Maybe you should find someone that would be better for them. I should probably go. Um, don't text me okay... Ever." And with that I was gone. I let the glitter fall to the ground.

"Edward, can you please hurry up and recuse me already. There aren't any Jacobs to ease the pain." I mumbled.

**Okay, if you think I should continue this on a different thing tell me. I think it could be funny. The story of an obsessed fan. Ha Ha. Anyway I will try to have more of the list soon.... By the way I havn't gotten as many reveiws as last time. Don't tell me i'm going to have the reveiw talk with u guys. This is ur last warning... Lol. Anyway, happy weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Soooooo sorry bout how long this took. Shame, shame. But its _really_ getting hard 2 come up with new stuff. Plz! If u hav _any_ ideas tell me. Any thing... Gosh, tht sounded desperate. Seriously, though. Don't hold back.**

**Disclaimer:**

**Okay, i've dyed my hair brown & used my... uh, adult potion, so know they hav to reconize me as Stephenie Meyer. I look nothing like the hyper blond teen I really am. Mwa ha ha! This will definatly work. I would bet my next pay check on it, (now that I'm an adult and now getting a pay check.... I hope)**

**Some random dude: Hey, Madeline!**

**Me: Crap!**

**Hobo: You owe me fifty bucks.**

**Again, I AM NOT STEPHENIE MEYERS, AND I DON'T OWN THE CHARACTERS! And if you haven't figured this out yet, you probably need to. But if you _have_ figured it out I'm going to feel stupid for yelling at my computer...**

**Anyway back to the list...**

* * *

52. You often imagine Edward (or Jacob) coming for you... Until your friend tells you that you just said, out loud to the entire class, "It's okay, I really to love you. Could you bite me? Please! I don't care about my soul with out you!" Then you realize that you MAY need to transfer schools.

53. When a trick-or-treater stoped by your house dress as a vampire you yelled, "Take those stupid fangs out! It's ridicous." and slamed the door in his face. Then he called the police because you broke his nose.

54. They arrested you and you'll be in jail for a week, but you don't mind... The policeman's name is Charlie.

55. After you get out your friends make fun of you for being so-called "obsessed" and you defend your self by saying, "Real vampires don't have fangs!" Your friend gives you a look that suggest your crazy and says, "_Real _vampires?"

56. You use OMC in text messaging but people think it's just a typo but it isn't. You really mean, Oh my Carlise.

57. You decided to eat the cereal with the cartoon vampire on the front even though they taste bad.

58. You bought your pixie like friend to by a yellow porse and she got mad because you used her brothers money...

_59. _You started talking to random pale kids on the street.

60. They took your money and ran.

61. They didn't even bite you and... worst of all, Edward didn't save you.

62. A cute guy asked you out but you said no. His eyes were blue and he was entirely to tan to be a vampire.

**I'm sorry I didn't have more. I've been so busy with school... Ugh, school, tht reminds me. Homework. Anyone know what the capital of Germany is? Lol.**

**While the smarter ones of you think the not-so-smarter ones can look this cute picture... enjoy! (Btw, is smarter a word? Or is it more smart? Or is it just smart, nothing 2 it?) ****______ ______**

**D ................D**

**b**

**#**

**Srry bout the .... It wouldn't let me erase those. -Sigh-**

***~*~byes~*~* **


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